


Mourning

by angelcakes19



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2375072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcakes19/pseuds/angelcakes19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaon mourns an unexpected loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning

_A/N: Hi, sorry I haven't been on for a while. I was in a particularly angsty mood so I wrote this and wanted to see what you guys thought of it. Kind of an AU of Unfair Trial. I'm going to try to get into writing again, if possible. I know I have quite a few unfinished fics..._   
_Hope you all have a lovely day/evening._

***

A Goodbye

“You… wanted to see the lights, didn’t you?” Kaon whispered, holding Knock Out to his chest, cradled in his lap. “Well there they are, all shining for you…”  
He received no response though he knew the medic was indeed staring at the lights so bright they blocked out the stars some distance away, the sounds of racers and victories and whooping crowds brought back to them on the breeze.

“It was your own fault, you know? You should have been more obedient, minded your glossa more…” The blind mech petted down the smaller’s back regardless of his harsh words, knowing how long Knock Out had been looking forward to the festival, and how much it must have devastated his friend when Tarn and the others had decided to punish him so close to it. He had begged to be allowed to go and to be corrected after for his mistakes, or so the blind mech had been told… Kaon sighed softly, kissing the CMO’s helm, “I know you didn’t mean it, that you were trying to help in your own way… But it wasn’t your place and you should have remembered that…”

Kaon blinked at the lights he could not see.

“If you had been good… then you could have raced as well, shown us all what you could do… I know you have always been worried about not being good enough for us; that, that was your little secret, wasn’t it? That was why you were so ridiculously vain all the time; you were trying to hide that from us. But I knew. I could feel it in your field. Was that why you wanted us to come watch you in the show? You wanted to prove you had worth to us… You wanted us to be proud…”  
He clutched the smaller tighter. “But you didn’t see that we were proud of you, that you didn’t need to behave so foolishly. Were you that starved of attention and recognition, Knock Out…?

Or perhaps you didn’t feel welcome… We had frightened you a few times, hadn’t we? Corrected you, made you cry and beg and bleed, made you feel you had to hide from us… You stopped coming to see me… I missed you, you know? Your company. I know I snapped at you, probably made you think I didn’t want you around… But I did, I really did. I was just… working, and I wanted quiet. And you were never quiet… Always had to make sure everyone knew you were there, didn’t you? Silly thing… So afraid of being ignored or forgotten…”

Kaon took Knock Out’s servo in his own and squeezed it lightly. “Do you… like the lights, Knock Out? Can you see them, or are they different for you where you are…?”  
Silence; apart from warm air blowing around them and laughter echoing across the land to them.  
“My meeting with Commander Soundwave went well; he gave me some training, updated codes and information for me to keep us up to date… He even asked after you; I told him you’d been working hard though had lost your way a little, needed some guidance back onto the right path, but your spark and loyalties were in the right place…  
Were you… scared?”

A sharp crash and flames billowed briefly up into the air, followed by a chorus of mocking laughter. 

“Of course you were… You called for me at one point, Tarn told me, you forgot I wasn’t there and wanted me to hold your servo; you wanted a comfort the others couldn’t give you.” Another gentle squeeze, thumb ghosting over the back of a still servo. “I’m holding it now though, is that better Knock Out?”

No answer, but the electric chair had known he would not get one.

“Of course it isn’t. Did you blame me, Knock Out? That I left before locating a new target. Is that why you thought the others decided to give you what you have really long   
deserved? Or did you know why, really, already? Did you understand what you apologised to Tarn for, or were you just sorry for being alive at all?”

The brief surge of emotion, almost anger, quickly died and the List Keeper’s energies gave a soft crackle as he calmed again.

“You silly thing. Why couldn’t you have been good? Why did you like Starscream? How could you laugh and joke with him like that in front of us? Was he better than us to you? Did you want him over us…?

No.

No, I… I know you didn’t. Forgive me little one, you know I don’t mean to shout at you like that. We were just… jealous. You seemed so happy with him and none of us had seen or felt you smile in our company for so long…

But we frightened you; we shouldn’t have frightened you so badly. Of course you made mistakes, you couldn’t process things properly around us, so afraid of getting something wrong and making us mad at you…”

Kaon fell quiet himself for a while, cuddling the medic and nuzzling at him lightly, listening to the festival several miles away as if he were in the front row in the stands.  
“Are you… scared now? Or are you safe and happier? You would have been with us again, you know? Just like old times, I promise. It just would have taken time… I… I’m going to miss having you around. I had hoped to make you laugh again, and to play together again…”

The blind mech’s field rippled as he felt his Commander’s brush against it in questioning; time to say goodbye, properly. Kaon stood and walked over to the grave the smelter had dug and laid the grey, ruined frame in it carefully, stroking the once pristine faceplates, and feeling the pocked holes now deeply and permanently embedded in them, and kissed a forehelm still wearing pain, fear and panic. But at least here, where they had come to leave him, the medic would always be close to at least one thing he had loved in his lifetime…

“Goodnight, Knock Out, I… won’t forget you, I promise.” Kaon murmured and climbed out, walking back into the Peaceful Tyranny with a bowed helm, passing his leader without a word. 

The true fun of their purpose had seemed to die with Knock Out, though the List Keeper would remain loyal to Cause and Leaders of course, the couple of traitors they had tracked down and punished on their way here had been far less satisfying than normal at least where he was concerned. And the laughter the six had normally shared seemed to have been silenced, so perhaps the others secretly agreed…

Kaon’s shoulders slumped and he headed to his quarters for his work shift. Even at times like this duty called, and the List Keeper didn’t want to find he had a place on the List himself.

The last few days had served to remind him that no one was safe from that fate, even the CMO of the army, if one was to anger the wrong mechs. 

And Kaon didn’t want his loyalty and hard work forgotten in a night of cold, merciless, _sadistic_ rage…

Perhaps, he should hide for a while too.

Perhaps the Peaceful Tyranny was not the safe haven he thought it was for mechs, for freaks, like him.

Perhaps… they all would end up on the List one day, each and every one of them. Wasn’t a Decepticon selfish and treacherous by nature? Isn’t that why Knock Out had been the   
way he was, at least in part?

Yes, perhaps being executed by one’s comrades was not as farfetched a fate as first thought.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

Even he could be next.

Was Tarn angry with him? He didn’t know, he didn’t think so.

But his Commander was coming down the corridor with a dark and saddened field nevertheless... 

***

_Thanks for reading._


End file.
